Its not your fault. Altamera74 your position on this matter is very clear. Which, coincidentally are reasons #2 and 3 why dating someone with a turbulent sexual past often spells trouble. Lmao @ Whale Poop. But it will be in the back of your mind. You, as a woman, are obviously free to care (or not) how many previous partners your man has been with. All that energy goes to personal projects or commuter games. There can be comparison issues, less patience due to what they have experienced previously, and a bunch of other stuff I will address in a future post. Women are raised differently from men and each carry different values. We got married 6 month ago and we are super happy. i could never date no one thats slept with a lot of people. I understand more and more why God restricted it to marriage. Yea I had a 3some with best friend and a dude we barely knew in college. Do not lie, but do not get detailed. What do her previous partners have to do with who she is today? They should Many men are saying that they dont like this, and dont want to end up marrying a guy with a vagina. Who we once were, is not always who we are now. This means avoiding certain male types, but it also means recognizing what you are doing wrong and whether the type of woman you are putting out there to the male population attracts or repels them. But then you are honest with them and now they arent so sure Exploring a little bit and being willing to learn can make you a better lover. Your source was concerned with the myth of high rate of divorce in general, and was not studying the relatively high incidences of higher divorce amongst women with more sexual partners. However, theres another possibility that you could simply be what she could afford to have. Dirty Runs girl that you can pay 500 to sleep with turns out to be a millionaire today. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It was 5 What do women do in the meantime? I seem to be shunned by women when after the 3rd date I still havent tried to get into her pants. Yes I think waiting till marriage is the best thing to do is the second sentence in the article yet you seem to think I am discussing if it is ok to be promiscuous. Women lie period. But they dont.because they KNOW sluts dont make good wives so men wont pick them.well.the smart men wont. When looking for information about dating someone with this girls' attributes, try to change the language. Know why? What I want to encourage you to do is to understand what is done is done. I would still probably see a similar reaction to my post on both of those subreddits so I have no interest in reading more on that perspective which is why I'm here hoping for more varied discussion. Shame on you all. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It is to say that not all women who have once walked that path are still the same person today. I believe yours is as well. Many women will not feel comfortable telling the real number because of the fear of being judged. They want a woman, someone different than they are. However, a guy can be just as much of a slut as a gal. Either way u go science or religion pretty much states the same thing. Hell she wasnt ashamed when she was an easy A in her past so yes it does matters and shes not gon enjoy sex omce she settles down cause shes played out already man come on get real could have wrote a better article cause this is a dumb article for real Im a woman an I damn for sure dont blame a man r anyone else for judging a hoe because even if she changes she still gon have that name for herself all because of her past with numerous of men and ppl are going to judge her off that til shes deadand gone dummy. Women have 10 lb babies & tighten right back up with the right maintenance (from experience). If you cant get in or she cant handle it can mess up the whole experience. I understand your position but I think you are not properly receiving the message of this article. You wont be fully satisfied until youve found every single one of those great qualities all bunched up into one person. Anything Nothing wrong with that. Theres timing to all things, even discussion about lovers. Required fields are marked *. I found a guy, we connected so well, he told me about his past relationship which lasted for 4 yrs. It assumes that all women have slept with more partners than I would find comfortable (far from correct), and that the only way I could end up happy and not lonely is to settle down and marry someone. Not too many women want a man that other women dont want. I am one who believes people can evolve and they can change. in order to let me know she is relationship material, yet shes slept with 100 people, well.I wasnt born yesterday. If he never asks or she never gives him a specific number then I do not think we should put that in the same category as a cheating wife. It is a misconception and must be updated to reflect women as real human beings and not abstract ideals. Also, realize that the author is not talking about a woman whos been ridden like the town bike. Although this attitude is commendable, it is just not scientifically accurate. If she is raped, she is at fault and will be executed period. Im reformed!. You will marry a handsome pediatrician! It should be with the right partner, not with just some random Joe you meet at the pub. Judging someone for their actions in their past have no bearing on the type of person they or now. We told the truth and we understood each other. (sorry so long lol just trying to get you the most info). Men do not. To say she is damaged goods is a misnomer because you assume that her worth is completely controlled by her sexuality and how she uses it. With a topic as sensitive as this misunderstanding will happen and I appreciate you taking the time to explain yourself. I did and am again. As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? Intriguing debate between you & Altamera74, and as you state it is his opinion that he is entitled to. Altamera74, from a chicks point of view, you are going to end up a very sad and lonely man if you take that sort of attitude into your life when it comes to choosing a partner.. Actually, the vagina does not get loose. She just revealed something from her past and instead of embracing who she is today you are making a choice to hold it over her head and view her as the woman she once was. Who has moved. thanks but no thanks. For me it does matter a lot, I've had both girlfriends who had a lot of partners and others that had a few, and the ones who had a lot of partners always turned out to be crazy, so no thanks . 4 years ago. It would best be done in the Never trust someone who doesnt change within those 10 years. "Promiscuous" is a term that is almost always used when speaking about a woman; it is most often pejorative. In short 90% women fell under this category. All of the feminists and white knight's pretending that men are applauded for sleeping around do not live in the real world. These views are unrealistiic. And the truth is most men wont like it. Thank you for your comment it is one of the most spot on and helpful in the thread. She's also in an art related major and I've always been drawn to girls who are artistic or creative even if I'm not entirely like that. I guess people arent supposed to want what they want out of a person or relationship. and who or what is the judge of what bettering yourself even is? Most women judge good young men fa they age that aint been in so many relationships with out friendship first. Personally I think it would be great for everybody to wait and not sleep around so much. If you are afraid to admit how many men you have been with then its obvious you are ashamed of it. Modern women are told a lot of strange things, like sex doesn't matter and that men are somewhat entitled to fuck them. Lets say the conversation never came up about # of sex partners. Studs work for every notch in there belt. A lot of men would have a problem respecting and trusting a woman that is currently on or has been on the hoe stroll as you call it. Every self-respecting guy I know does not want to settle down with a whore, and would respect a woman less if he learned she had 100 former partners vs. say 8. If any guy called me names like a whore or uses my past as a deal breaker So what if she runs across someone she slept with in the past? Ive been in two serious relationships. I disagree with you. Altamera what is an acceptable amount of men for a woman to sleep with before marriage to you? So men are letting go this thing that she slept with 30 guys before marriage because this is common. They give birth. Actually, the vagina does not get loose. What does it matter how many people she's had sex with? Like half my high school classmates were married by 22 and there were peobably more men and women in my classes in college talking about their girlfriends they adore or fiances or their wives than any amount of dudes talking about casual hookups. on the lookout for new sex partners, because they dont value physical If woman has had >20 partners, odds of remaining in marriage for 5+ years are measly 20%. You look down on my age group, and yet the concept of girls sleeping around . Dont say something here different from what u will o. I think men and women should be judged the same. Virility still rules. Im dont want the mother of my children, the single person out of all of humanity that I choose to share the rest of my life with to have been used and ridden like the town bike. HOLD ON TO THE SPIRIT OF JESUS CHRIST. If i have to move out of town or state just so I dont have to deal with her many past smashes, then it aint worth it! Im female, but Im not emotional, insecure or needy. I think we should always evaluate the individual for who they are right now. 1. Nothing too crazy, but I live in a college town where people are coming and going for school and work and thus I've had fairly intense relatonships with people who have since relocated out of necessity. All in all I just dont feel we should be looking at the amount of men she has slept with in the past as evidence for if she is someone to be with. lover constantly complains that you nag them, try and find ways to fix this for their partners. If you love sex so much, u can have it with the man you believe will stay with u and you have something serious with, something that will not spoil your name.. Its a bit embarassing.. business trips while Jerry came over and played house with mommy, a Women need to stop judging other women. has slept with 4 guys or 20? Modern times, have Nobody likes for the woman they love to be viewed in that light. The Beginning and the End. In my eyes it matters is someone has had a decent approach to love and sex. You telling me number of sexual partners is not important is like telling me how many devorces she had is not important. That is all this article is trying to relay. Sounds like a double standard to me. So clearly Im not assuming old-fashioned = not a slut. Leave this poor woman alone she doesn't have the issue you do. have and wield. The only difference will be in how you now choose to perceive her and how you handle that perceptionThis article isnt trying to say it is right or wrong, good or bad, or whatever when it comes to promiscuity. You are the choices you make and the life you live. Thats why they say check the Carfax. There is nothing any of us can do to change the past, but we can choose to make our present and future so much better. Hey Mike. At the end of the day, its all about what works to pass on genes. my gf was honest about her past and i constantly bring it up whenever we argue not saying its right but I cant help but think about the number all the time. 20 partners in 25 years? rates, confused male and female roles, teen pregnancy and unwed mother figures I dont want a woman that thinks that giving herself up so easy is how its supposed to be. I think its best to know what youre dealing with but at the same it doesnt matter because who they are today should speak volumes. I love this article! To people who have had sex with too many people: It is But when the person they are today is not consistent with the person they once were, why would you choose to give the past more credibility? Your email address will not be published. Now does that change your perspective? And no, the man is not estimating. Thank goodness the world is full of people with different view points, and a moderate amount of people who are willing to scratch below the surface. I told him his past is of no value to me as i love him and accept him for who and wht it has made him today and i just dream of a beautiful future and will work hard to make it work. Respect yourself ladies, and men will respect you. have the ability to make the best choices for herselfimpulse control Get yourself a virgin problem solved.If this man doesnt want to judge women on their number of sexual partners then let him do that.Let him live. People please keep in mind, God made Average for a reason. It just isnt right. Its my sincere opinion that if we lived in a more egalitarian society the issues surrounding promiscuity wouldnt be such an issue and people wouldnt be so quick to judge one another. Well said. Its not right for one gender and wrong for the other. You make an excellent point when you speak on how many women have adopted this way of thinking. The woman you marry is more modest because she knows her attributes are for your eyes only. What ever happened to the days when articles encouraged people to better themselves. I applaud you Stephan for SOME of your opinions on this matter and for standing your ground. respect and honor themselves. hint 2: dating highly sexual people simply involves better communication and actual adult emotional processing skills. WOMEN THAT ARE CONSTANTLY ON THE HOE STROLL MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR WOMEN LIKE ME WHO ARE NOTWOMEN WHO CARRY THEMSELVES WITH DECENCY AND RESPECT. Reframe all of it into something that is actually constructive and supportive. But I think it is a mistake, and not the best approach to walk away from a woman that you feel is genuinely showing herself to be the woman you desire today. There are many more core issues at play then simply the woman having had a promiscuous past. Everyone has the right to judge and they WILL until the end of time as we know it and there is not damn thing wrong with it!!! You can develop a dont care attitude. I dont really care how many people she has been with within reason, however I do want to know what I am dealing with, and I would like to know whether she would be completely honest with me, IF I DESERVED IT! By your logic, if we make no judgments on our potential mates, and the past doesnt matter, it should not matter if our potential mate was a child rapist for 20 years, as long as s/he isnt currently raping children. I dont think number should be the issue but how they went about the promiscuity if they were having sex in back alleys and getting double teamed etc how could someone want to be with them if they just had alot of partners its a little easier to swallow. We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. And yeah I'm definitely better than any of the other guys I've heard she's been with. So happy for you. justice itself. Some people will still make a big deal out if it. You cant turn a ho in to a housewife. ive slept with 14 guys and im still tight and ocasionally asked if im a virgin. Altamera74, from a chicks point of view, you are going to end up a very sad and lonely man if you take that sort of attitude into your life when it comes to choosing a partner. I practice EFT (emotional freedom technique) to get rid of emotional baggages which i guess he couldn understand. That should only matter! the best ones are extremely intelligent and driven. Ps if women werent sluts you wouldnt be on this planet. Im in it right now. Turns out he says he is still a virgin and is looking for a virgin wife. Error message when applying for student finance, Official Oxford 2023 Postgraduate Applicants Thread, Official LSE Undergraduate Applicants thread 2023, Official Dental Hygiene and Therapy (Oral Health Science) 2023 Entry Thread, Official UNIVERSITY of BATH 2023 entry thread. Being forced to settle for a woman who has been ridden like the town bike, and shared her body with dozens, if not hundreds of men is very weak, and very low-standard. It did Then she knocked on a door and a guy in his underwear opened it, and she walked in and closed the door. I agree totally. Maybe you men can enslave women and lock them up. If the person is still exhibiting behavior that does not line up with your values then by all means keep it moving. Hi Puppycat. I believe it is completely dependent on the person and what they are looking for. Messing with them is the same as messing with everyone else they been with. It is logical they would have to go thru a selection. Good, glad to know my position is clear. If you Reply 122. There is much I could say as to the real reasons why many men, possibly such as yourself, cannot deal with a woman who may have once been promiscuous in her past. Women call men dogs when they have slept with numerous women so why would you in turn do the same thing that youre condemning them for? You dont know where to begin, because you have nothing to say, and deep down, you know Im right. And no, I have not slept with more than 10 women and yes I am 30 yrs old so I swear to you that it can be done. Normally the good man doesnt have half the number of the slut girl. You are the very reason Stefan was inspired to write this article. Maybe you would feel like you have one over on other people because you have However, with choices come consequences, and in this situation, the consequence is that, in general, men wont take you as seriously as a long-term partner prospect. With whom and how often a woman choose to share herself, and her body, speaks to her values and character. choosing to be selective in whom they sleep with. Good luck. But the average man, when hes serious about a woman, does care. Women on the other hand get slandered, disrespected, and chastised for their choice to be promiscuous at any point in their lives. Location: Melbourne, Australia. All by the help of the Queen mother . By your logic, nothing matters, and we should all turn our brains off. Thats what alpha men do in the truest sense the word. It matters. Burn it. I definitely CAN Google which is how I know that you were harassing anyone who posted on this article as well: https://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/10/what_s_your_number_do_women_still_fret_about_the_number_of_peopl.html, solidifying my assertion that you have psychological issues for which you should probably seek counselling. Thanks you! The woman I started dating after college was the complete opposite. First, ever since our common ancestors walked out of West To use the analogy of work, yes, fair comment. LEsson learnt, men cant handle the truth, but they want to know everything, wise women, give information very selectively. If you are caught lying it can Just relax. You are correct that you cant do anything about the man before you being bigger but I most certainly believe you can still be better. Why must women be held to an higher standard than men? My current boyfriend has never brought up the conversation about my number of partners and neither have I. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? your mobile device and email, or tell them your whereabouts if their worried. Numbers mean nothing. And she is ten times prettier with larger breasts and better complected, better hair, better teeth, more intelligent, etc His wife would feel intimidated and feel she can not compete especially if the other woman dumped him and he had been in love with her. It is simply to say let us not be so quick to judge those whose past may involve a high number of sexual partners. So keep railing against common sense and reality, well be here if you ever stop. Well, let me tell you what i mean She used to introduce me to her exs here and there and i had no problems with thathowever, she met one of my exs once and I was in the dog house for a week, verbal abuse beyond verbal abuseIt was ok for her to flirt because she wasnt going to have sex with them, but if i even looked at a girl or talked to a girl or commented about a girl in a movie a week of hell would start!This is really just a sample of things that turned to be the double standard in our relationship. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. No dice. Don't do it then. You have to go deeper to get a clearer picture and to see if this is still a woman battling certain issues or a woman who has been far removed from what she once was. Dont want to be seen out in public with a woman who had a train ran on her back when she was in high school or college. Heck, Ive even dated a slut, for a year! So if he is in a relationship that he feels is the best he ever had, and everything is great, but then she reveals the number. If she is a changed woman then she should present who she is and keep who she was to her damn self because IT DOES AND WILL ALWAYS MATTER when exposed. And if he is, so what? Very good point, I may have to edit the post and throw that in somewhere : ). great number of men for the same reason. You can talk a good talk a good talk about how the The Almighty GOD being nothing but a storybook fable all you want. I dont thing something is wrong with a man who does not like the idea of competing with a womans past. So a young fertile woman was his best bet. This girl helped open my eyes to all sorts of fun ideas in and out of the bedroom. Now, I know you didnt use any of these words. Life. I dont know if youre a male or female judging by your username. low tiers don't even exist in their world they are completely invisible and when they are forced to notice our existence they don't see us as human they se us as inanimate objects to just deal with and make go away asap they know nothing about what the life of a man is like, This is why they say shit like "why are you guys so upset just use tinder to get threesomes every weekend what's wrong teehee" because every guy who exist in theyre world can do stuff like that. (This was very rare for me. So lets say you meet a woman and start to date her. Why invest your time, emotion and energy into a person who does not share the same sexual compatibility that you do because you naively want to believe that how many people she has slept with doesnt matter. Sometimes, you will find its not good for you at all. Thats why I want to marry him. In fact, I see more women who regret marrying young than I see women regret marrying in their 30s. However when we step into the LOGICAL WORLD and actually apply it: People judge no matter if it is for the GOOD or the BAD! You could be killing yourselves with every partner you take. Is it the number of acts, the number of partners, or the types of acts? And, it will happen. -Women also judge in choosing partners. Facebook. To your example: I would naturally feel much more sympathy toward someone who is unable to give consent. If you were full of life and it was so great and wonderful then you would ADMIT IT WITHOUT BEING ASHAMED. In other words quit pointing fingers at others when you know full-well that you are just as much a sinner! Women can say anything to contradict this to justify their history but I can only imagine if they were out with their husband and a Ph.D. If two people are to form a relationship together for life, then honesty and openess is the best policy. I understand the value of myself, we all make mistakes, but the underline issue is not excused for neither party. I have yet to meet a woman that has had more than 50 sex partners and was in a solid, healthy, balanced, loving relationship. You can choose to disagree but believe it or not there are a lot of men with women they know have a past and are in great healthy relationships. Villarreal X Getafe - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. I never liked hooking up; I just wanted a long-term bf and thought "hooking up" was the way the cool kids did it. I think we should all turn our brains off you live speak on how many people she 's with... You at all times, have Nobody likes for the woman I started dating after college the... Men wont like it in the meantime acts, the number of partners, or types. To explain yourself the author is not important is like telling me number partners! Have the issue you do a relationship together for life, then honesty and openess the. 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